Famous Quotes

The future is much like the present, only longer.
- Don Quisenberry

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.
- Thomas Jefferson

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then ... we elected them.
- Lily Tomlin

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
- Evan Davis

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
- Fred Allen

Do not make loon soup.
- Valuable advice from The Eskimo Cookbook

I can't seem to bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle.
- Robert Benchley

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.
- Christopher Morley

A favorite is the story of the first Queen Elizabeth, on a state visit to London. Greeted by the Lord Mayor with 'Hail to the Queen," she glared at him and supposedly said, "How dare you hail while I am reigning."
- Elizabeth I (?)

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
- Ambrose Bierce)

If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel.
- Will Kommen

The law is the last result of human wisdom acting upon human experience for the benefit of the public. - Samuel Johnson

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law.
- Jean Anouilh, Antigone

There is yet a further and a weightier reason for the permanency of the judicial offices, which is deducible from the nature of the qualifications they require... To avoid an arbitrary discretion in the courts, it is indispensable that they should be bound down by strict rules and precedents, which serve to define and point out their duty in every particular case... and it will readily be conceived from the variety of controversies which grow out of the folly and wickedness of mankind... that there can be but few men in the society who will have sufficient skill in the laws to qualify them for the stations of judges. And making the proper deductions for the ordinary depravity of human nature, the number must be still smaller of those who unite the requisite integrity with the requisite knowledge.
- Alexander Hamilton, Federalist # 78

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.
- Jonathan Swift

Those who are awake all live in the same world. Those who are asleep live in their own worlds.
- Heraclitus

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.
- Albert Einstein

My purpose in making this wonderful journey is not to delude myself but to discover myself in the objects I see. Nothing, above all, is comprable to the new life that a reflective person experiences when he observes a new country. Though I am still always myself, I believe I have been changed to the very marrow of my bones.
- Goethe, Italian Journey.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
- Derek Bok

I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't.
- Mark Twain

Don't let school interfere with your education.
- Mark Twain

If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.
- Anon

Never eat more than you can lift.
- Miss Piggy

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.
- John W. Raper

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Anon.

I haven't been wrong since 1973, when I thought I made a mistake.
- Bob Hudson

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
- Anthony Burgess

There was a definite process by which one made people into friends, and it involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time.
- Rebecca West

Perhaps the most delightful friendships are those in which there is much agreement, much disputation, and yet more personal liking.
- George Eliot

Friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington

A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Truth springs from argument amongst friends.
- David Hume

People who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do.
- Anon.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
- Jackie Mason

I understand small business growth. I was one.
- George W. Bush

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club.
- Dave Barry

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?
- Dr. Gonzo

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm a schizophrenic,
and so am I
- Anon.

There is no They, Only Us.
- Anon.

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.
- Mick Jagger

Come quickly, I am tasting stars!
- Dom Pérignon (1638-1715) on the moment of his discovery of champagne

Here is the world, sound as a nut, perfect, not the smallest piece of chaos left, never a stitch nor an end, not a mark of haste, or botching, or second thought; but the theory of the world is a thing of shreds and patches.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1845)

Smart is when you believe half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half.
- Robert Orben

Well I am certainly wiser than this man. It is only too likely that neither of us has any knowledge to boast of; but he thinks that he knows something which he does not know, whereas I am quite conscious of my ignorance. At any rate it seems that I am wiser than he is to this small extent, that I do not think that I know what I do not know.
- Socrates

We have no words for speaking of wisdom to the stupid. He who understands the wise is wise already.
- G. C. Lichtenberg

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom; and with all thy getting get understanding.
- Bible - Proverbs 4:7

Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
- Norman Cousins

The beginning of wisdom is found in doubting; by doubting we come to the question, and by seeking we may come upon the truth.
- Pierre Abelard

It is no longer enough to be smart — all the technological tools in the world add meaning and value only if they enhance our core values, the deepest part of our heart. Acquiring knowledge is no guarantee of practical, useful application. Wisdom implies a mature integration of appropriate knowledge, a seasoned ability to filter the inessential from the essential.
- Deborah Rozman

Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving and the most beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation or abstraction from life, it is life itself.
- Havelock Ellis

I'm all for rational enjoyment, and so forth, but I think a fellow makes himself conspicuous when he throws soft-boiled eggs at the electric fan
- P.G. Wodehouse, Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest

Some day my boat will come in, and with my luck I'll be at the airport.
- Graffiti

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.
-P.G. Wodehouse

I'm not wild about holidays. They always seem a ludicrously expensive way of proving there's no place like home.
- Jilly Cooper

I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.
-Jerome K. Jerome

Home is the place where, when you go there, they have to take you in.
-Robert Frost

Hollywood is a combination of Heaven, Hell and a lunatic asylum.
- Salvation Army Gen. Albert Osborn

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"
- Jack Kerouac

Compassion is the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things.
- Thomas Merton

We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs, and look at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.
- The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

I always turn to the sports pages first, which record people's accomplishments. The first page has nothing but man's failures.
- Chief Justice Earl Warren

A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor.
- English proverb

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
- W.C. Fields

A man's maturity consists in having found again the seriousness one had as a child, at play.
- Nietzshe

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.
- Camus

There is no harvest for the heart alone;
The seed of love must be Eternally resown.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Live thy life as it were spoil
and pluck the joys that fly.
- Martial (A.D. 86)

Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving and the most beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation or abstraction from life, it is life itself.
- Havelock Ellis

The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
- Charles du Bos

My opinion is a view I hold until - well - until I find something that changes it.
- Luigi Pirandello

Mud thrown is ground lost.
- Anonymous

Any genuine philosophy leads to action and from action back to wonder, to the enduring of mystery.
- Henry Miller

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
- Graffito

Don't find a fault. Find a remedy.
- Henry Ford

The best gift is a portion of thyself.
- Emerson

Happiness makes up in height what it lacks in length.
- Robert Frost

There's one good thing about tight shoes; they make you forget your other troubles.
- Josh Billings

Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward; they may be beaten, but they may start a winning game.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What a man believes may be ascertained, not from his creed, but from the assumptions on which he habitually acts.
- George Bernard Shaw

Smart is when you believe half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half.
- Robert Orben

He was one of the numerous and varied legion of dullards, of half-animated abortions, conceited, half-educated coxcombs, who attach themselves to the idea most in fashion only to vulgarize it and who caricature every cause they serve, however sincerely.
- From Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment

It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation.
- Robert Benchley, in "Maxims from the Chinese"